The Pie Class Take Over

The Farmer’s Wife knows a thing or two about making pies (and she should, she’s been making them for ever so long).

And others have begun to notice. Why that’s a mighty fine pie some could be heard saying and something along the lines of: Boy, I wish I could make a pie like that.

On one particular day, after one particular person said that exact thing, the Farmer’s Wife got a very particular idea.

Why, SHE could teach people how to make pies!

And that is just what she did.

She posted a sign for all to read:

Come and lean to make the very best (truly the best) Coconut Cream Pie (on Earth).

Leagues of people (or three) signed up, eager to learn the Farmer’s Wife’s ways.

And finally, the day arrives.

The Farmer’s Wife loads up eggs and cream, coconut and flour, sugar and butter, and drives to a school with a large kitchen set up just for the very idea of teaching people how to cook tasty things.

Now. I asked her why she did not hold such a class at the Farm itself and she simply laughed and said something along the lines of not-until-she-gets-her-kitchen-just-so.

I guess we will just have to wait until then.

But for now, the school had heard about the Farmer’s Wife’s offer to teach people how to make the World’s Best Coconut Cream Pie or three and they eagerly and willingly offered their kitchen (which, apparently is just so). So, that’s where the Farmer’s Wife is headed at this very moment.

But wait. What’s that? There’s a man waiting outside the school, waiting to be let in. HE has eggs and cream, coconut and flour, sugar and butter…

The Farmer’s Wife frowns. “May I help you?” she asks.

“Why, yes,” he says. “I am here for the Coconut Cream Pie Class–is this the place?”

The Farmer’s Wife’s frown deepens. “Yes. This is where the class is being held.”

She opens the door and both travel inside to the waiting kitchen, where both unpack their wares.

The man lifts from his box a crust, already made. He smirks. “I didn’t see how we’d have enough time to make the crust and the pie for this class, so I made mine already.”

The Farmer’s Wife’s frown turns into a smile. His crust is thick. It is pasty. It is no where near as good as hers.

The other two students arrive, and, thankfully, come with nothing in their hands.

The Farmer’s Wife begins.

“Today, I am going to teach you how to make the World’s Best–“

“What makes you think YOURS is the best?” the man interjects.

The Farmer’s Wife looks at him and continues. “We will start with the crust. That is the most important part in a good pie.”

“For MY crust, I cut the vegetable shortening into cubes and freeze them. That way you don’t have to knead it at all. In fact, MY crust practically makes itself.”

Two sets of eyes gaze upon the man’s crust that he’s lifted into the air for all to see.

The Farmer’s Wife frowns. “Why bother then?” The whole point is to make something beautiful with your own two hands. And don’t even get me started on using vegetable shortening for pies. It’s either butter or lard or butter and lard. That’s it.”

Two sets of eyes look at her not convinced. He does, after all, have a crust lifted high, ready-made.

The Farmer’s Wife sighs and lifts the lid from her Coconut Cream Pie.

There’s ooohs and aaahhhs as all look at the thin crimped crust cooked to perfection. at the mound of whipped custard laden and topped with lightly toasted coconut shreds.

“Hmph,” the man grunts and lowers his crust and quickly and silently puts it away (As well he should. The Farmer’s Wife’s pies are THE best, after all).

“Now,” the Farmer’s Wife begins again. “Who would like to learn to make the World’s Best Coconut Cream Pie?”

As it turns out, all of them would. Even the man with the crust.