Farm Kitchen Scones

Scones have been a bit-of-a-challenge for the Farmer’s Wife. For many a year she would try something new, something different. When she thought she’d gotten it just right, she’d make the call.

“Hello, Mother,” she would say. “I’d like to have you over for tea. I think I’ve finally done it.”

Later that day her Mother would arrive to a table laden with cups and saucers, cream-stirrers and sugar-dippers, cloth napkins and a steaming pot of just-perked-tea. But none of those matter. What does is the platter gracing the center of the table: the platter of Scones.

Next to them lies the whipped cream and sweetened butter, the jams and jellies. But these are just fluff. The Farmer’s Wife’s Mother knows this. A distraction. From the sub-par Scones.

She sits. A Scone is placed on her plate. The Farmer’s Wife watches. She waits. The Scone is brought to her Mother’s lips and the tiniest nibble taken.

Not a sound is made.

The Scone is set back on the plate and the whipped cream, jams and jellies liberally applied.

The Farmer’s Wife sighs in defeat. She’s failed. Again.

Her Mother smiles. “That is a very nice…biscuit.”

The Farmer’s Wife groans. Oh! The humiliation! Why can’t she get this right?

And she never does.

Until a year ago, when on that fateful day, she tries One Last Time.

She takes the Scones from the oven. She tastes one. It’s light. It’s flakey. It’s sweet. Has she done it?

Yes, she has. At least she thinks so. There’s only one way to be sure.

The call is made. The table is set.

The Farmer’s Wife’s Mother arrives. She scans the table. It’s different this time. What can it be? Oh. Yes. There is no whipped cream. No Jam, no jellies.

Her eyebrows raise. Feeling rather confident are we? they say as she sits down.  

The Farmer’s Wife pours the tea as her Mother selects a Scone. She takes a bite. And another.

Behind her back, the Farmer’s Wife jumps in the air, victorious.

“That is a very nice Scone,” her Mother says, finishing the one she has before taking three more.

And here is how she (finally) did it:

A cup and a half of pastry flour is blended with a third cup sugar of the granulated variety. Two teaspoons baking powder and a pinch of salt is added, followed by a stick of cold butter, chopped small. The pastry blender is used to make those pieces even smaller (a lot like you would with a pie crust), until they’re the size of split peas. A half cup heavy cream is mixed with a room temperature egg and a teaspoon vanilla and stirred until it’s pale yellow and creamy. The cream/egg mixture is poured into the flour/butter mixture and all is blended until a ball is formed. This is dumped onto a floured counter and rolled (or patted) until it’s about an inch thick. Now, it can be cut any way you like, but since the Farmer’s Wife was going for SCONE, and not BISCUIT, she wanted the shape to say so: she went with the traditional triangle.

That’s her base. Now that she’s got that down, she sometimes goes for some va-ri-ety, and when she does, she sometimes adds a few things. And this is what she does:

Dried cherries:  Add half cup dried cherries and replace the vanilla with a teaspoon of lemon zest

Orange Chocolate:  Add half cup mini chocolate chips and replace the vanilla with a teaspoon of orange zest

Dried Cherries: Add half cup dried cherries and replace the vanilla with Rosemary (one teaspoon, fresh, chopped fine)

Lavender and Lemon: Add one teaspoon lavender flowers and one teaspoon lemon zest

Maple Bacon: Add one tablespoon bacon, chopped fine, replace vanilla with grade b Maple Syrup. Also slather more of that Maple Syrup on top, right when they come out of the oven

Honey Orange: Replace the vanilla with one teaspoon orange zest, brush honey on top, right when they come out of the oven

There. That should be enough to get you started. And it’s just a start. Feel free to come up with you own Va-Ri-Eties