Oktoberfest on the Farm

Most people don’t know this, but the Farmer has a lot of German in him. Which means, of course, that at some point in the month of October the Farmer’s Wife makes a German Feast (same as the Irish kind she makes in March for her side of things).

Now, there are many good things that German folks eat, and I’m sure all over that country and world, those things are consumed and celebrated, but on the Farm, only three recipes are made: Rouladen, Spaetzle, and Sweet and Sour Cabbage. It’s the same each year. And most years others come to enjoy celebrating the Farmer’s heritage. This year that came in the way of Mema and Papa, The Farmer’s Wife’s parents.

And it’s a good thing, because none of the children particularly care for German food.

“What’s this?” Jacob says, sticking a fork into the purplish-red pile on his plate that looks strangely like a vegetable.

“It’s good. Eat it.”

He does not.

“Yes, it’s delicious,” Mema says, taking a big scoop.

Jacob watches her carefully. Is that a grimace? A forced swallow?

He sighs. It’s neither. She must actually like the stuff. Even still, he’s sure HE won’t. Just like he was sure last year and is sure to be sure again next year.

I’m including the recipes here, in case you want to try it out on your kids. And please, do. It’s fun to watch their faces all scrunched up like that. And that picture up top? That’s the leftovers for the Farmer’s lunch tomorrow. Because, Jacob was true to his word. He didn’t eat a bite.

For the Rouladen: The Farmer’s Wife takes a pound of bacon, cut into cubes and puts them in a large cast iron pan. She puts them on low and lets them sweat a bit before adding one sweet onion, coarsely chopped, and two cloves of garlic, chopped fine. Once your kitchen smells like it’s straight from Heaven, take the pan off the stove and put all that’s in it into a bowl, making sure some of that good bacon fat stays in place. Now, to the stuff in the bowl, stir in 1/2 cup of butter and garlic croutons, crushed. To crush them, you just leave them in the bag and roll your pin over it a time or thirty, or you can put the croutons in your blender/food processor. Some time later the Farmer’s Wife will give you the recipe for the croutons, but for now, you can just use the ones from the store. All this is set aside for the time being. Now, take two pounds of sirloin tip roast, sliced thin. You’ll need pieces about 1/2 inch thick and 3 inches wide by eight inches long, give or take, so cut your meat to those specifications, or have your butcher do it for you. Take a scoop (about 2 tablespoons) of the bacon mixture and place it on one end of the meat, laid out flat. Now, just roll it, making sure the good stuff stays in. There’s no need to tuck in the sides. Just roll away, and set aside, seam side down, and repeat the process until all the meat is rolled and all the stuffing gone. Take a flat-bottomed bowl and put in it a cup of flour, seasoned with a bit of salt and pepper. Keeping the rolls intact, gently dredge them in the flour mixture, paying careful attention to the seams. Repeat for all. Once these are done, turn your attention back to that glorious pan full of that garlicy-bacon fat. Turn the heat on a bit and once it starts sizzling, put the meat rolls in, seam side down, to sear all that goodness in. Once that side browns, flip them over and brown that side, too. Once both are done put a bit (1-2 cups, depending on the size of your pan– no more than 1/2 way up the meat rolls) of beef stock in the pan and cover with tin foil. This goes in a 300 degree oven for a couple of hours.

While that’s going, you can start your Sweet and Sour Cabbage, so you too can get rejected by your children.

The Farmer’s Wife likes her Cabbage a bit hearty, so she chunks up one head of red cabbage (2-3 pounds) until the pieces are about the size and shape of your thumb. But stay away from the spines. No one wants to eat that! Set a pan on the stove and melt two tablespoons of butter in it, and add to that a bit of sugar, a tablespoon or so. Add a pealed and chopped apple, fine or thick–that’s up to you. let it cook for a few minutes and then add the cabbage, tossing it in until it’s all coated with the good stuff. Add to this 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar. Stir to mix. Cover and cook for ten minutes or so, or until the cabbage has given up its shape quite a bit. Sprinkle with salt and add one cup water. Let simmer on low heat for the length of time it takes for the Rouladen to finish, about an hour and a half.

The Spaetzle takes only a minute or two to make, so do it right before dinner is served–except for the boiling water. That takes forever. Put it on about thirty minutes before dinner.

To make the dough, take 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour and stir into it one teaspoon of salt, one egg and 3/4 cup water. This should look a bit like slop. Now, the Farmer’s Wife has one of those handy Spaetzle makers, seeing as she makes this very dish each and every year, but you can create a makeshift one for yourself until you decide if this is a recipe worth repeating. Do you have a standing grater–you know those things you use for cheese and the like?

See those big slots, the ones facing you? Those are the ones you want. Once your pot of water is boiling (and seasoned with plenty of salt) take a gooping handful of the Spaetzle dough and setting the above grater closely over (to avoid the splashes, you see) the water rub your dough back and forth, carefully avoiding getting bits of your fingers involved. Small drops of dough should be falling into the water. Now you can see why the Farmer’s Wife thought it a wise and worthwhile investment to buy a Spaetzle maker.

But I digress.

Let this cook a bit. When it all floats to the top, it’s done–which takes only a minute or so. Drain the water out with a strainer and immediately return the noodles/dumplings/whatever you want to call it to the pan, which is now off the heat, and toss in a tablespoon or four of good salted butter. This is to be served immediately, right alongside a good heaping portion of Sweet and Sour Cabbage, Rouladen, and of course, a really good German Beer.

Enjoy!